To You, Milledgeville

I see the same view a lot. There is this coffee shop I tend to habituate. You may have heard of it; Blackbird? (That was a joke, honest.) I like to sit in the front where it's quieter and the big window makes the light a little more natural. Except for the weather changes, I could be looking in on the same day always and it wouldn't make a difference. The log trucks keep rolling by, sometimes bringing with them the sharp, sweet smell of redwood. There is always always a bicycle bound tight to the bench, although I doubt anyone would steal it if it wasn't bound. People are always going. Driving, walking, jaywalking, sometimes stopping by but always continuing on. And then, there's me. I can feel myself becoming a part of this place. This little two step town with its history and its old walls. Its unkempt ally-ways that are anything but threatening. You know the way old houses look with ivy climbing up their sides? I'm the ivy, or the town is. I can't tell if it's growing into me or if I'm finding my niche in some of the more obliging cracks in the sidewalks. Can both be happening together? The point is we're becoming one; the same thing. In the same way that I can't quite shake the smell of salt water on my skin, and how Spanish moss hangs off my fingertips. I think I might be home.

I'm listening to The Avett Brothers, Weight of Lies on Emotionalism; if there is a topic I don't think I'm on it right now but anyways,

The weight of lies will bring you down and follow you to every town 'cause nothing happens here that doesn't happen there. So when you run make sure you run to something and not away from 'cause lies don't need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere.

I guess it's just that when I left Savannah to go away for school, I was running away. I wanted to be someplace different. I wanted to be different. Now I feel like I've got something I'm running too. It's true though, you don't change just because you've changed your surroundings. I am subject to the same neuroses, same fears, same inadequacies. Personal growth is always something that comes from within. But now, I've got two homes. And that's got to count for something, right?